Sleep Strategies For New Moms
I am just not a person that functions well on little or no sleep. Im usually in bed well before midnight and I like a good deep 7-9 hours before starting my day. My brain likes it and my body depends on it.
Thats real nice and everything except that its all COMPLETELY SHOT TO HELL when you have a baby.
Caring for baby is all consuming for a little while there- Its difficult to find time to shower and eat let alone self care and take some “me time”, and not much time to sleep. This sleep deprivation can be one of the biggest problems you face as a new mom.
It can also contribute to several different types of depression. Women are more than twice as likely to develop depression then men are, and most of these women will have it during their child-bearing years. Sleep deprivation from having children is much more than just losing a couple hours of sleep. Disordered sleep is a leading cause of depression anyway, and i can day first hand, that I started feeling very unlike myself after weeks and weeks of such poor sleep. Im not alone, It leaves many of us open to depression, and can impact the way that we mother our new babies. For new moms, this can be an especially scary time… You love your baby, and you want to be the best mommy you can be. However, when you aren’t sleeping, you can’t possibly be at your best!
Sleep Strategies For New Moms
So what can you do about getting sleep as a new mom? Below are a few great ways to combat sleep deprivation, and be present for all the precious moments with your baby.
Sleep Training
This is not something you do when your baby is an infant that still needs lots of night feedings. This is usually between four and six months, but again—every baby is different, so make sure you use common sense and speak with your midwife or doctor about your child’s specific needs at this age.
Sleep training starts with building a consistent schedule throughout the day that leads into bedtime. Every mama and baby is different, so this will be up to you and what works best for your needs. Once you have a consistent schedule in place, the sleep training has begun. The best way to do this is to slowly wean your baby from needing your presence to go to sleep and stay asleep. Babies need love and comfort just as much as they need sleep.
I won't pretend to be a sleep training expert- but I will say that I did my own research and chose a method that worked for me.
I took a practical approach I found in Dr Harvey Karp - he recomends trying to create the best “womb like environment” for sleep using the 5 S’s.
1. The 1st S: Swaddle
Swaddling recreates the snug packaging inside the womb and is the cornerstone of calming.
2. The 2nd S: Side or Stomach Position
The back is the only safe position for sleeping, but it’s the worst position for calming fussiness.
3. The 3rd S: Shush
Contrary to myth, babies don’t need total silence to sleep. In the womb, the sound of the blood flow is a shush louder than a vacuum cleaner! A great white noise machine does the trick.
4. swing:
Life in the womb is very jiggly. So light swinging is always helpful
5. The 5th S: Suck
Sucking is “the icing on the cake” of calming. Many fussy babies relax into a deep tranquility when they suck. Many babies calm easier with a pacifier.
I felt like this really worked for me.
You want to teach your child to sleep through the night. Just know that whether you cry it out or co sleep or something in between, what works for YOU is what is important. Other opinions aren't invited. WIth my son, I got very lucky with how well he slept, and I felt like my response to him was often premature- babies do tend to whimper and even cry out while still actually asleep- when he was right next to me in our room in the bassinet, I would respond and usually wake him all the way up. So I moved him into his own room pretty early on, and we both slept better for it. Another mom, your own mom, your husband, his mom, your auntie may judge that, but like I said, they arent the ones who are losing sleep, so they can stuff it. lol.
Taking Turns
If you have a spouse or partner that you can take turns waking with the baby with, this works for all your baby’s stages—during and after night feedings are needed. You and your partner would simply alternate by the night, or by the feeding. This helps you get more much needed rest, and helps your baby bond with both of you! A helpful coparent is a wonderful asset to combating sleep deprivation.
My husband and I did several versions of taking turns. In the first one, I would head to bed after he came home from work around 6pm. And I would try to sleep a few hours before he would sneak the baby freshly fed and diapered little sleep sucker into the bassenette in our room- (A noise machine already going really helped me not wak up and night light would help him find the bassenette, and the fed and diapered part is essential to give mama the extra rest)- and I would wake up to his next need for feeding usually around 2 or 3.
So if I actually got in bed by 7 or even 8 pm ( sometimes I would use this time to take a bath or shower or self care a little) - that would equal sometimes 7 or 8 hours of sleep before baby woke up!
My husband would also take the baby away from me for long stretches on the weekend, so that I could use that time to catch up on some sleep.
We survived.
Mommy Partner
A friend of mine did this when she had her first baby, and she did very well with her mommy partner. This is perfect when you have a close friend due around the same time, or access to a group of other moms. When you have a mommy partner, you both coparent each other’s babies! When she needs a shower or a nap, you watch both babies; and vice versa. This is absolutely fabulous because it gives you someone that you can talk to throughout the day about your new mom struggles, AND you can sleep when either of you need to. This option is all about teamwork and trust, so be sure your mommy partner(s) is someone you can count on through this period of time.
I hope this helps you get some sleep during your current or incoming motherhood! Please feel free to share any other tips you have on beating sleep deprivation, and never hesitate to reach out to me if you wanna have a chat. :)
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